I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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