The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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