Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
