Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
