i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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