I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
