K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
