his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
