so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
