I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
