he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
