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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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