STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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