My sheets look like a crime scene.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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