haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
