So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Acid is not a monday night drug
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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