Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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