He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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