It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
