You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
