do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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