Ambien. No doubt about it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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