I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
