I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
