that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's just like the Real World with babies
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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