i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize