You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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