Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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