look no pants
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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