You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
