I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What drink are we having for lunch?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
