your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
