i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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