and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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