They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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