the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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