youre lurking in front of me
My nipple is on Facebook.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If that was your dad, he is hot
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
