I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
is that a dick in a sweater?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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