ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
