someone get that fucking seahorse.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
