She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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