she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize