Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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