I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
