There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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