Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
