...so i touched it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
