woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
