i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I had to cum in my sink.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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