I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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