Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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