Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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