haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize