his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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