I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
