sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
