And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
