i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I lost the right to judge tonight
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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