i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
