ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
