my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
