hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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