My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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