I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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