Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
