Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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