I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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