No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize