i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
