Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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