brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
